When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Randomize