I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
