this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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