he told me I talked like a deaf person
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
