I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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