this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
