I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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