Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
