Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
