Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
