hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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