Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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