Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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