we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
