her vagine was all disorganized.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize