u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
