no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
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