I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
