Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
