He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
