girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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