it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
