We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
why didn't you poke me back
babies were throwing up all over the place
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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