I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
