I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
