he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dignity is for republicans.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
