I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
