ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
last night I used snow as a chaser
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
