@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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