I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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