Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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