Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
