so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
