I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
