found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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