When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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