so that wasnt chicken after all
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
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Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
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It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising