Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.