he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
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I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life