my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.