just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize