matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?