We're facebook friends in real life
kristin has been a bad kristin
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
