is your mom at the bar?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
