In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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