Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
