It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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