You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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