its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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