Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My pussy is not your playground.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
