I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
