Porn is love you can see.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
