update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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