I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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