don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
