when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
