You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
