I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
