how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
