Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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