He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
