The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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